Of Fluff and Kitties
by clam-in-candyland
Summary: The cast of Juvenile Orion is trapped on a deserted island, and they go a bit crazy while they're stuck. Randomness.


Of Fluff and Kitties

((The story takes on a random island, like most of these random stories do. We begin with Mana, Naoya, Kaname, Tsukasa, and Isshin, who are participating in random activities on the random island. Don't worry, Tomonori fans—the teacher will join us at some point. For now, everyone has moved into the shade under a few coconut and banana trees.))

Naoya: Hey, Amou!

Tsukasa: Hmm?

Naoya: You know that picture with you, Nakaura Sensei, and me wearing those fluffy white outfits? Remember?

Tsukasa: Yes, I remember.

Naoya: Are you sure?

Tsukasa: Yes, I'm sure.

Naoya: You're positive you remember?

Tsukasa: Yes!

Naoya: Because if you don't remember it, I won't blame you, since—

Tsukasa: SHUT UP! I SAID I REMEMBER AND I DO!

Naoya: (oO) Okay then…

Tsukasa: You were saying?

Naoya: Yeah…well, in that picture, you looked like a marshmallow.

Tsukasa: I felt like one.

Naoya: Okay. That's all.

Mana: You think Amou-kun is a marshmallow?

Naoya: No, I just thought he looked like one. You know, since marshmallows are fluffy and he was wearing a fluffy outfit.

Kaname: Wouldn't it be weird if he _was_ a marshmallow?

Isshin: How would we prove it?

Tsukasa: Don't I have any say in this?

Naoya: No.

Tsukasa: But you're accusing me of being a marshmallow! Can't I at least make a pitiful attempt to defend myself?

Naoya: No. You're a marshmallow.

Isshin: We still have to prove it.

Kaname: Yeah, he's right.

Mana: What are you gonna do to him?

Naoya: You don't need to know, Kirihara…you really don't need to.

Tsukasa: This sounds bad.

Naoya: slowly walks over to him

Tsukasa: Eep! Help! Somebody! Get him away!

Tomonori: jumps in from nowhere and tackles Naoya to the ground ITSUKI! STAY AWAY FROM TSUKASA!

Mana: It's really okay, Nakaura Sensei. We were just talking about Amou-kun's fluffiness, and Itsuki-kun was going to prove that—

Naoya: That he was actually a marshmallow!

Tomonori: I don't even want to know…

Tsukasa: Save me, Tomonori-san!

Tomonori: Everything's going to be all right now. I'm going to take you home with me. grabs Tsukasa's sleeve and glares at Naoya

Naoya: No! You can't take him! We'll be marshmallowless!

Tomonori: That isn't even a word, Itsuki.

Kaname: He'll be good. I'll make him be good.

Tomonori: Well, if Tsukasa wants to stay, then I suppose it would be all right.

Tsukasa: Look at the shrub! squats down and pokes a shrub with a stick

Tomonori: Ignorance is bliss.

Mana: What a short attention span.

Kaname: Indeed…

Naoya: Should the fluffy guy be poking it like that?

Tsukasa: I am NOT a marshmallow!

((The shrub eats Tsukasa.))

Mana: Amou-kun! NO!

Kaname: Oh, great…

Tomonori: My poor Tsukasa…

Naoya: My poor marshmallow…

((It spits him out.))

Naoya: Sweet! Marshmallow is the secret password!

((It eats Naoya.))

Mana: Itsuki-kun! Come back!

Isshin: Should we let him out by saying the m-word?

Kaname: Nah, let's leave him.

Mana: Poor Itsuki-kun! Can we please save him? watery eyes

Kaname: blushes Well, I guess if it means that much to you…

Naoya: from inside the shrub Kaname! Save me, my sweet and loving muffin!

Kaname: On second thought, he's shrub food.

Mana: Kaname-kun is a muffin?

Tomonori: Don't trust Itsuki. He also called Tsukasa a marshmallow.

Mana: Yes, sir.

Isshin: If Nakaura Sensei says we can't, then I will deliberately disobey and do it!

Tsukasa: Do what?

Isshin: Uh…trust him? Or…believe that you're a powdery gelatin snack and that Kaname is a pastry product? I really don't know where I was going with the whole rebellion thing. I didn't give it much thought.

Tsukasa: Wait…Tomonori-san said the m-word.

Naoya: I'm free! And don't worry, Kaname-chan. I'll forgive you for not saving me.

Kaname: Oh joy…

Naoya: Look! It's a KITTY! jumps up and down and points at a kitten

Tsukasa: I wonder how that little guy got here.

Naoya: SHUT UP! I must become one with the kitty…I am as the kitty…I will be the kitty…I must become the kitty…

Kaname: He's lost it. For real this time.

Mana: Since I have had a very small part thus far, I feel as if I should perform a really dangerous trick or something to increase the number of reader reviews.

Tsukasa: Like what?

Mana: I dunno…I'll learn to fly or hold my breath until I turn blue or turn into liquid plutonium or something.

Kaname: Good luck.

Mana: concentrates

Tsukasa: Is she going poop?

Isshin: Whoa! Hello! Take a dump over _there_! picks her up and puts her over in a clump of assorted types of bushes

Mana: But I'm not pooping! I'm rearranging my molecules!

Tsukasa: Sounds like poop to me.

Naoya: I am the kitty! Meow! Eat my kitty litter, non-kitties! I AM A KITTY!

Tsukasa: Ew…he's hugging me…

Isshin: More like glomping if you ask me.

Kaname: Better you than me.

Tomonori: GET OFF OF MY TSUKASA, ITSUKI!

Naoya: How dare you refer to me by my human name? I have relinquished that life in favor of becoming a kitty.

Isshin: What are you, Catwoman?

Naoya: silent for a moment…YES! I AM CATWOMAN! MEOW!

Kaname: Which means you look darn good in leather.

Naoya: It's so nice to hear that from you, Kaname-chan!

Kaname: I was trying to prove that you _weren't_ Catwoman, since you don't look good in leather. At all. So stuff it.

Naoya: You still said it. And I will PROVE that I'm Catwoman by climbing up that large stone wall within seconds! climbs it, but it takes a few minutes Ha!

Tsukasa: Now you have to jump off and land on your feet! laughs evilly

Isshin: looks at Tsukasa Who are you and what have you done with Amou?

Naoya: Fine! I'll do it, because Catwoman is invulnerable!

Kaname: He's scaring me.

Tomonori: He scared me from the day he constructed a paper airplane during math class and then chucked it at me.

Kaname: That isn't so scary.

Tomonori: He used flammable flypaper.

Kaname: Now it's scary. Freaking pyro. Sheesh.

Naoya: MEOW! jumps and falls through a hole in the ground that Isshin dug

Tsukasa: Hurray for Arayashiki and their amazing digging skills!

Kaname: Well, now that we got rid of Catwoman, what do we do about the fact that we've been stranded on a random island for the pleasure of the few people that will actually decide to read this? ((AN: Which is only 23 so far.))

Naoya: climbs out of the hole You forgot about Catwoman's amazing ability to climb stuff! Kaname-chan, you're so cute when you're wrong.

Kaname: twitches fumes Hey, Itsuki…what's fluffy, gooey, and white all over?

Naoya: Um…a marshmallow?

Kaname: Bingo.

((The shrub eats Naoya again.))

Tsukasa: Hurray for Darklore and their ability to trick people!

Kaname: I can't stand cats…

Mana: I still have a very small part.

Tomonori: Me too.

Tsukasa: Ditto.

Isshin: Same here.

Tsukasa: This should've been called "Kaname vs. Naoya" instead of the original title including stuff about marshmallows and felines.

Mana: So let's make ourselves noticeable.

Tomonori: I'm all for it.

Tsukasa: So…what do we do?

Isshin: Well, since you're the innocent one, we'll throw you in the ocean.

Tsukasa: What? Why?

Tomonori: Shiba, do you have a death wish?

Isshin: No, Sensei.

Tomonori: Then leave Tsukasa alone.

Isshin: Just because you said it, I'm gonna have to throw him in anyway.

Mana: No! Shiba Sempai, please don't hurt Amou-kun!

Isshin: But…Kirihara-san…I thought you wanted to be noticed!

Mana: Yeah, but not if it means we all have to scream "FRIEND OVERBOARD" to do it! Amou-kun stays here! I will defend him with my LIFE!

Tomonori: She's stealing my thunder again.

Isshin: I'm sorry, Kirihara-san! I don't want you to die! Especially not for _him_…

Tomonori: Wait…you disobey me, and you listen to her every command. So then what happens if we both tell you to do the same thing?

Isshin: I keep my chance at getting a girlfriend and I'm spared from detention.

Tomonori: In other words, you'll listen to me.

Isshin: I liked my way of putting it.

Tsukasa: After around thirteen lines, I finally got to speak!

Naoya: glomps Tsukasa And now I've returned to steal the spotlight yet again!

Tsukasa: puppy-dog eyes But Itsuki-kun…we were just getting a good role…as plotless as this entire thing is…please don't steal my chance, Itsuki-kun!

Naoya: Aw…Amou, you're so cute when you're begging!

Tsukasa: _Please_, Itsuki-kun?

Naoya: And you're even cuter when you're at my mercy!

Tomonori: slaps Naoya seethes with anger LEAVE…TSUKASA…ALONE! YOU…SLAVE-DRIVING…LITTLE…CREEP!

Naoya: I was just leaving anyway…doesn't move

Kaname: I'm back too.

Tsukasa: curls into a ball and looks miserable

Mana: Guys, we're hurting Amou-kun's feelings! Can't we give him at least a tiny moment in the spotlight? Please?

Everyone except Mana and Tsukasa: smile Okay, Master…sigh

Mana: Thank you!

Tsukasa: Uh…so what do I do now?

Naoya: Do what Mana did and start pooping.

Mana: I was NOT pooping!

Isshin: How did you get out of the shrub anyway, Itsuki?

Kaname: He called me things like "cupcake" and "pumpkin" until I had to say the m-word to make him shut up.

Tomonori: Guys! We're giving Tsukasa time to himself, remember?

Tsukasa: Thank you, Tomonori-san! hugs him

Tomonori: Aw…

Lafayel: randomly appears as usual Israfel! I have come once again for another attempt at REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And this time…I WILL WIN! For once…so prepare yourself!

Tsukasa: This is getting old…

Lafayel: Fight me, Israfel!

Tsukasa: Aw…do I have to?

Lafayel: face fault Huh? Heck yeah, you do!

Naoya: He's beaten you every other time. What makes you think he won't do it all over again? You're a freak, man.

Lafayel: But this time is DIFFERENT! I've never fought him before with an army of…MINIATURE PINK ELEPHANTS! And they FLY! Uh…BEWARE!

Naoya: Dude, that's pathetic.

Tsukasa: No, Itsuki-kun. He's right. It's over.

Naoya: face fault What?

Tsukasa: Tiny flying pink elephants are my one true weakness.

Naoya: You're kidding, right?

Lafayel: Nope! It's true! Israfel is tiny-flying-pink-elephant-intolerant!

Tomonori: No! There's one thing you forgot!

Lafayel: What, that you're a crazed lunatic of a teacher who's in love with one of his students? gets hit in the head with a coconut thrown by Tomonori

Tomonori: No, you fool! And I am not in love with Itsuki!

Lafayel: Not him, you idiot…

Tomonori: But anyway, the one thing you neglected is that those elephants aren't wearing BRACES! And Tsukasa is only allergic to tiny flying pink elephants with braces! Ha! We've foiled your plans again! So now you are defenseless against whatever we decide to do to you!

Lafayel: Curses! Now I'll be burnt like a Thanksgiving turkey! AGAIN!

Tomonori: That's right! Now, Tsukasa, boil that bleep!

Tsukasa: Tomonori-san? Why'd you say that?

Tomonori: Sorry…he bugs me so much…

Kaname: Well? Toast him already!

Lafayel: Toast yourself!

Tsukasa: I don't wanna fry him…

Naoya: WHAT!

Tsukasa: I don't wanna…

Naoya: You have to!

Tsukasa: But it doesn't feel good…

Naoya: Do you want to die?

Tsukasa: No, but I don't wanna toast him…

Naoya: Do you want to wait until he gets those elephants to an orthodontist?

Tsukasa: Not really, but—

Naoya: Do you want to have an allergic reaction?

Tsukasa: You're Catwoman; why don't _you_ do something about it?

Naoya: Whatever. chucks a lit match at Lafayel, who goes up in flames and flies away So there, you little weenie. Catwoman strikes again. Oh! What now? I'm a leather-clad undead lady who hangs out with all of the furry things! What're you non-kitty punks gonna do about it?

Kaname: We'll remind you that you aren't wearing leather.

Naoya: Curses…

Mana: Hey, I have an idea!

Kaname: I forgot she was here.

Mana: Kaname-kun…sniff…how could you forget me?

Kaname: Because your mom was a bleep and erased my memory. Duh.

Mana: But not all of it.

Kaname: I'm sure she'll do better next time.

Tsukasa: Kusakabe-kun! That's mean!

Tomonori: Leave them, Tsukasa. It's merely a lover's quarrel.

Mana and Kaname: Is not!

Naoya: I'll show you a lover's quarrel. looks at Kaname

Kaname: You are SO not making me participate.

Naoya: What about that kitten? We should be its parents. I'll be the loving father, and you can be the drop-dead sexy mother.

Kaname: What the heck!

Naoya: On second thought, you hardly ever wear a shirt, so I suppose I'll have to be the mother. I _am_ Catwoman, after all.

Kaname: You sick perverted little—grr!

Naoya: So we can be the parents of the adorable little furball!

Kaname: No! I don't want a egotistical creep for a wife! Especially a MALE creep!

Naoya: You know you want to.

Kaname: I do not!

Naoya: Yes you do!

Kaname: No I don't!

Naoya: Yes you do!

Kaname: No I don't!

Naoya: Yes you do!

Kaname: No I don't!

Naoya: Yes you do!

Kaname: No I don't!

Naoya: I think I've proved my point.

Kaname: And what, dare I ask, was your point?

Naoya: Don't you remember? I was demonstrating a lover's quarrel. Thanks for being my lovely assistant, Kaname-chan!

Kaname: What? NO! How did you trick me like that?

Naoya: Because I'm Catwoman, and I grew up in a washing machine.

Tsukasa: Catwoman didn't grow up in a washing machine.

Naoya: Yes she did. And then she moved to a dryer. I would know. She's me.

Tsukasa: I'm no expert, but I don't think she lived in a washing machine OR in a dryer, Itsuki-kun—I mean Catwoman.

Naoya: Well, even so, Catwoman generation two will live in a DISHWASHER!

Kaname: How do you figure?

Naoya: Because we're going to raise her that way, of course! Kaname-chan, it's you and me against the world! You, me, and Catwoman generation two! holds up the kitten from earlier in Lion King style

Kaname: I'm not marrying you. Get over yourself.

Tsukasa: Isn't Catwoman a bad person?

Naoya: shrugs I dunno.

Mana: Yeah. She was against Batman at some point.

Naoya: Oh well. Is anyone here Batman?

Everyone else: No.

Naoya: Then it doesn't matter.

Lafayel: randomly appears again Mwahahaha! I have returned!

Kaname: For crying out loud! I don't have time for this. Hey, Lafayel, what's in the middle of every campfire S'more?

Lafayel: Uh…a marshmallow?

Kaname: We have a winner.

((The shrub eats Lafayel.))

Naoya: Kana-chan saved me!

Kaname: No I didn't. You were never in danger. And my name is "Kaname". I'm not "Kana-chan". No more pet names. So why don't you go imitate an ostrich and shove your inflated head in the dirt?

Naoya: But then you'll go off and reveal my identity while I'm going subterranean! Catwoman must keep her identity secret at all costs! And therefore, despite your protests and suggestions, I must remain in order to—

Kaname: SHUT UP!

Naoya: Actually, I was gonna say—

Kaname: No, I mean really, shut up.

Tsukasa: Why don't we play Survivor? There's enough of us for a small game.

Mana: Okay! Good idea, Amou-kun! We can split into teams and compete!

Tomonori: I'm not sure about this.

Naoya: Whoever wins gets the privilege of being ignored completely by everyone else until they choose otherwise. We will pretend you are invisible. We can't even talk to you without getting permission from you first.

Kaname: I'm in.

Tomonori: I suppose I'll play, since it _was_ Tsukasa's idea.

Isshin: Ditto, except for the part about Tsukasa.

Tsukasa: Then let's get started! Mana and I will be team captains!

Mana: But then we're on different teams.

Tsukasa: Well…then Itsuki-kun can be a captain with me.

Kaname: looks like he's been given a death sentence Why, Amou? Why?

Naoya: Woohoo! I pick Kaname!

Kaname: Amou, if you and I get out of this alive, I'm going to murder you.

Tomonori: Not if I get you first.

Tsukasa: I pick Tomonori-san!

Mana: What about me?

Tsukasa: Oops! Sorry, Kirihara-san!

Naoya: I pick Shiba Sempai.

Mana: WHAT ABOUT ME!

Tsukasa: I pick Kirihara-san.

Mana: Like you had a choice.

Naoya: Now we have to choose names for our teams.

Tomonori: Who's going to be the referee?

Mana: Oh, good point. We hadn't thought of that.

Tomonori: I'll do it, but you people need a new player.

Isshin: Nakaura Sensei, you were a player?

Tomonori: Shut up…

Haruna: from inside their heads I'll be your new teammate. I can mess with my brother's mind, even though I can't physically do anything.

Tsukasa: But since you can contact us, you should be a referee. This way you'll know if someone's cheating.

Haruna: That works too.

Tomonori: Then I'll still play, I guess.

Tsukasa: So _now_ we can make up team names.

Haruna: You have one minute to decide.

Tomonori: We should have a dignifying name, like Team Archangel.

Mana: No, it should be something pretty, like Team Lunar Eclipse.

Tsukasa: twitches at the mention of a Lunar Eclipse for some unknown reason

Kaname: We should be something that sounds tough, like Team Hell Raiser.

Isshin: I'm all for it.

Naoya: Their seem should be named for Tsukasa—Team Marshmallow.

Lafayel: I'm free!

((Everyone throws coconuts at him, and he is buried under them.))

Haruna: All right! Time's up! Tsukasa, what name did your team decide on?

Mana: whispers to Tsukasa Lunar Eclipse!

Tomonori: also whispers Archangel!

Tsukasa: Team French Toast!

Mana and Tomonori: face fault

Haruna: Okay…Team French Toast…

Tsukasa: beams proudly

Haruna: Now, brother, what did your team decide on as a name?

Naoya: Team Down-with-Batman!

Kaname and Isshin: What the heck!

Haruna: Okay…Team French Toast and Team Down-with-Batman…weirdoes…

Tsukasa: We have to have a competition now! For immunity!

Haruna: Okay…uh…get out my brother's pocket trampoline and have a butt war.

Naoya: All right! takes out and sets up the trampoline

Haruna: Two people at once, one from each team. Best two out of three wins, so the whole team will get immunity this time.

((Tsukasa defeated Naoya, Mana and Kaname tied, and Isshin refused to get on the trampoline with Tomonori because the teacher told him to do it. Thus, Team French Toast was victorious in the first event.))

Haruna: Team French Toast wins! Time to vote someone off! And the person has to be from Team Down-with-Batman, because French Toast has immunity.

Haruna: Remember, you can't vote for yourself.

((Each person steps up in private to vote.))

Kaname: I vote for Shiba Sempai, even though Itsuki bugs me. I dunno why.

Mana: I vote for Shiba Sempai, because he made kissy faces at me.

Tsukasa: I vote for Kusakabe-kun, because he ripped my wing off.

Tomonori: I vote for Shiba, because he's a disobedient mule.

Isshin: I vote for Nakaura Sensei, because I heard that.

Naoya: I vote for Naoya, because he's obnoxious.

Haruna: All right, the votes have been made. Now, let's see who gets booted off tonight…we have one vote for Kaname! And…one for Isshin! Here's another one for Isshin! And one for…Tomonori! Sorry, whoever wrote that, but he's immune to votes this time…that's an invalid vote. And…my brother's handwriting here…he voted for—Naoya, you can't vote for yourself.

Naoya: I didn't!

Haruna: I know your handwriting. You voted for yourself.

Naoya: Did not! I specifically wrote "Naoya Itsuki". Nowhere on that slip of paper will you find the word "yourself".

Haruna: Whatever…the last vote is for Isshin. Sorry, pal. The tribe has spoken.

Isshin: Yeah, whatever. I don't care anyway. I'm leaving. Marshmallow.

((The shrub eats Isshin.))

Haruna: Anyway…the next event will be a competition to see who can cross from this pier to that buoy points and back. The two people who will compete will be the ones who won in their butt war the fastest. Actually, due to the fact that those people are from the same team, I'm just gonna pick Kaname and Tsukasa. They can fly, and it'll be fun to watch them struggle. On your marks…get set…GO! Go already, people! Fight it out for immunity! Tear each other limb from limb!

((Tsukasa and Kaname both sprout their wings. Since poor Tsukasa's wings are on the sides of his head, he has trouble going anywhere, and falls into the water. He begins to swim (slowly) towards the buoy. Naoya, who hasn't been watching, turns now and sees Kaname—with black bat wings.))

Naoya: Eek! BATMAN! Catwoman will defeat you! jumps on Kaname, making him sink So there, defender of Gotham City!

((Tsukasa's clothes eventually caused him to begin to drown, and Kaname was forced to drown under Naoya's weight. They both had to be rescued. That made this competition a draw, so no one gets immunity this time around.))

Kaname: panting Itsuki…you…are the biggest…freak…in the…history of…the Aquarian wars. Leave…me…alone! I'M NOT BATMAN! coughs uncontrollably

Naoya: Thank you. What can you expect? I'm representing a bunch of girls, so I have an excuse for being weird.

Kaname: Which is the only reason why you're still my best friend, you fruitcake.

Naoya: Thank you, Kaname-chan!

Kaname: Whatever.

Haruna: Time to vote!

((Everyone goes into a private place to vote, one at a time.))

Kaname: I'm voting for Amou, because he's a threat. I know he voted for me last time, and I _desperately_ need to be ignored.

Tsukasa: I'm voting for Kusakabe-kun, because Haruna told me he voted for me.

Naoya: I'm voting for this "yourself" person, because Haruna said not to, and I'm a rebel like Shiba Sempai.

Tomonori: I vote for Itsuki, because he's an idiot.

Mana: I'm voting for Itsuki-kun, because he tried to drown Kaname-kun.

Haruna: Now that you've all voted, I'm tallying them up. There's one for…Naoya. Sorry, bro…and there's another for him. Here's one for Tsukasa—

Tomonori: How dare you vote to kick Tsukasa off? Which of you was it?

Haruna: Ahem! There's one here for Kaname. And this last one is for…yourself. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, Naoya. Very funny.

Tsukasa: Oh, look! Up in the sky!

Naoya: It's okay, Amou. We know you used to live there.

Tsukasa: Near the clouds! points

Kaname: Cut it out, Amou. We're not stupid. We all know about your past.

Tsukasa: Right up there! bounces up and down

Tomonori: It's okay, Tsukasa. hugs him We understand what you went through. You can talk to us about these feelings. We're here for you.

Naoya: Lord, he's going to be the world's worst shrink.

Tsukasa: SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU, PIPE DOWN! I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT THERE'S A HELICOPTER! NOW DO YOU WANT TO GO HOME OR NOT! LOOK, YOU IDIOTS!

Mana: Yay! We get to ride in a helicopter! Fun!

Kaname: Assuming they see us, of course.

Tomonori: There's got to be a way to make ourselves noticeable…

((Everyone lights the pile of coconuts on fire. Lafayel's screams are heard. After a few minutes, the helicopter lands to pick them up and take them home.))

Naoya: Hey, guess who we forgot about?

((Meanwhile, back on the island…))

Lafayel: ACK! HELP I'M STILL BURNING! I'M ROASTING LIKE SOME KIND OF HUMONGOUS MARSHMALLOW!

Isshin: I'm free! looks around Where'd everybody go?

THE END


End file.
